Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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