Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
