so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
