Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
