she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
