Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
do herpes really smell.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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