So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
