i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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