My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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