Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
