do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize