i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
