It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
