she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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