sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm at about main and main street
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
