just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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