Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
