just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
