They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
