bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize