did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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