the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
