im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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