You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
