I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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