You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
