my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
