Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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