a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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