I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
