I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
