Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
