Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She needs sedatives and a leash
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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