absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
