Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
