i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
