there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
