just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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