You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're a waste of cheezeits
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
