oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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