is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
