Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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