Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
