how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
