I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize