I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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