So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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