I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This toilet bowl is my home.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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