And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
