you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
