Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
