Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
