Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
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