He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
