I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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