We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
