Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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