So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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