I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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