ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
