True but thats because hes a fetus.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
