Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
