Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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